btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
