His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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