those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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