look no pants
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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