Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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