i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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