No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
