I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
