After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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