I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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