Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
