Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
