ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
