he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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