Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
