I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
how does that bad decision feel?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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