She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
