He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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