Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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