I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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