going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
