she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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