the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
