booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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