I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
