i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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