I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You ruined the universe
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
