i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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