It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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