not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
