And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
