my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
