I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
