One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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