So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
