just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
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Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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