I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
smell my finger.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
