He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
