There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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