She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I want a musical about memes.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
