Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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