I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
