Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
