ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
