you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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