there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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