when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
