addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
