when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
