fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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