Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
