smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
