I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
