She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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