ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
